Is there ever a good time to begin writing? I have wrestled with this idea for the last two years. Though I’ve felt called to write, felt the internal gnawing of words trying to get out, I have excused these pangs away with the simple phrase “its not a good time.” In the midst of being a wife, a mother, a daughter to a mom with cancer and working a job, how could I possibly find the time to express what’s bubbling on the inside? How could I find the time, the energy, the creativity to adequately put into words what I feel? It seems almost impossible.
And as if the physical aspect of writing isn’t enough, what about the insecurities that come gushing forth when you want to step out into the world of something new. What about the feelings of being incapable, unprepared, and not enough. What about all the doubts and the “what if’s”, “what about’s,” and “what if I fail…” All of these things have kept me stuck in the vicious cycle of “I’ll wait for a good time to write.” As you can guess in two years there has never been a good time to write. I’ve been married to the idea that I have to have ideal circumstances in order to get started and my devout marriage to this idea has kept me glued to mediocrity. It has kept me glued to the average cycle of life. Not living and thriving and coming alive by the journey of expression that God has given me.
But today, that ends. Today I divorce my idea that I have to have perfect circumstances in order to write. I divorce the negative thoughts and self-condemning attitudes that have kept me from beginning. Today I embrace what 2 years of waiting has wasted. I will write. I will write amidst the chaos, amidst the physical and emotional pain, amidst the activities of life.
So here I begin, my journey. My journey of sharing my words with the world. I hope that in my exploration and expression you will find that thing that you too have been waiting for ideal conditions to start. That thing that is gently tapping on the insides of you, waiting to be freed. I pray that you, like me will start that thing anyway, right where you. That you will start it, tend it, and grow it…
Welcome to Tending Heaven’s Garden.